Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize