maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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