Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
