You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
