I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
