I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize