Dual....:-)
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
