I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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