why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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