I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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