i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize