there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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