i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
