Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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