craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
