Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize