i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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