Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
