just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
