You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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