Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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