I just made out with a guy for $7.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
