That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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