It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize