I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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