Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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