i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
