Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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