It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
