Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
