he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
