so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
