My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
