Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Text me some of your sweat
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
