it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
