Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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