I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
