I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize