In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
