the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
