i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
where are you?
Hypothermia
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
