Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize