that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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