I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
