"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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