i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
