Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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