never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
