Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
