That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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