Need sex. Gaining weight.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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