For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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