The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
