Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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