WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
