My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
