Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude i'm inner monologue high
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
