she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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