Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
