There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
