going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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